


The Royal Prerogative

by Sangerin



Category: Blackadder
Genre: Blackadder II - Freeform, F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-28
Updated: 2007-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-26 01:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sangerin/pseuds/Sangerin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Can't have anyone innocent marrying Bladders, Bob!'</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Royal Prerogative

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not entirely certain whether this fits the episode: it's been three years since I've had the chance to see it. Also – this is me trying to write comedy. You've been warned.

To marry, naturally, Blackadder required the Queen's permission. At the end of Edmund's attempt at an explanation of his reasons for marrying a manservant, Queenie looked this "Bob" up and down – and commanded that her audience chamber be cleared of all but herself and Bob. Melchett complained a little, as did Nursie, but a swift threat of burning at Smithfield soon fixed them both.

'And _don't_ try listening at the keyhole,' she shrieked after them, before turning back to Bob. 'Well, my dear. So you want to marry Edmund?' Her eyes narrowed. 'Has he got you preggers?'

'No, your Majesty!' said Bob. She blushed prettily. 'I will admit that we have perhaps gone further than we ought…'

Queenie giggled. 'Far be it from me,' she said. 'After all,' she added, conspiratorially, 'Robert Dudley and I did the same thing. He was disappointing, really. Rather a small… thingy.'

Bob's eyes widened.

'How was Edmund's?' continued Queenie. 'I assume you saw it.'

'Perfectly adequate,' said Bob.

'Are you sure? Have you experienced – or seen – any other man?'

'No, your Majesty.'

Queenie continued speaking as though Bob hadn't answered. 'And then, there's more to such things than men.' She fixed her eyes on Bob again. 'What about women?'

'What about them?'

'Come now, child, surely you're not that innocent.'

'Oh, believe me, I probably am.'

'Can't have anyone innocent marrying Bladders, Bob! We'll have to do something about that.'

'Why, your Majesty,' said Bob, breathlessly. 'I don't know what you mean.'

'Silly, silly child,' said Queenie, standing up. She put an arm around Bob's waist and pulled her close. She lowered her lips to Bob's, and kissed her deeply. While Bob was limp in her arms, she began to unlace the girl's bodice, until her breasts were revealed. 'My dear girl, how _could_ you have bound these beauties up?'

'I had to make a living, your Majesty,' said Bob. 'And with the exception of your Majesty, there aren't too many high-powered jobs for women.'

'This _is_ a good job,' said Queenie, as she lay Bob down on the floor of the audience chamber. 'I do so love to be able to do whatever – and whomever – I want.'

'You may have me and welcome,' said Bob, and beneath her skirts, her legs shifted apart, and Queenie smiled.

'Who's a good subject, then,' she purred. She pulled Bob's bodice down and her skirts up, and lowered her mouth to Bob's unbound breasts. She kissed and nuzzled Bob's breasts, and paused for a moment to say, 'I do so love the Royal Prerogative.'


End file.
